Porkchop was your stereotypical boar
He loved to eat until he could eat no more
He ate all kinds of things his favorite being slop
He even ate a frozen can of pop
He had one ginormous predicament
He never knew when the dinner would be sent
Sometimes it came and he was not ready
He did not like to eat when he was all sweaty
Porkchop put his mind to work
He would solve this problem or go berserk
He consulted the wisest pig in the land
He knew Hamhock would lend a helping hand
Hamhock listened to the problem and pondered
He sat for what seemed like hours without being bothered
Then he exclaimed with great glee
“I have the answer because no one is smarter than me
You need a watch! You know the thing that goes tick tock”
Porkchop was excited but didn’t know where to get a clock
Porkchop left with one answer but had more questions
And he knew his next destination
His brother Tenderloin had spoke of such a thing
It was so glorious Tenderloin began to sing
But Porkchop interrupted and shouted “where?!”
Tenderloin annoyed answered “the farmer keeps one in his arm hair”
Porkchop devised the plan that would be the envy of any hog
He would wait for the next thick fog
He wouldn’t have to wait but a week
a fog set in so thick you couldn’t see your own butt cheek
Porkchop tripped the farmer and took his prize
He got it back to his pen and brought it to his eyes
It was a beautiful piece of machinery
But Porkchop was having some difficulty
He had the watch but did not understand its use
He tried many things but it left him unamused
Tomorrow Porkchop decided he would show Hamhock
His magnificent clock
Porkchop then retreated to his bed
With dreams of watches in his head
When he could read the watch good
He would know when he would get food
Anger, Angst, and Anything America Allows 