Approved By Mr. Politician 

Hello America there is something that you must know 
My opponent hates your favorite television show

Are you afraid of being killed by a Muslim terrorist? 

My opponent has a burka and bomb on his wish list 
Have you seen the video of my opponent’s old speech? 

Well here’s a clip out of context, saying to put guns in kids’ reach 

How about I put up their picture next to horrible text 

It’s provided by an obscure media called the Shining Next 
All the ads talking about me are utter lies and can’t be trusted 

It doesn’t matter that the cops find my cocaine and I was busted 

My opponent is a liar and I think they hate Jesus and babies 

Did you see the look in their eyes? I think they have rabies 
My qualifications you ask? I look good in a suit and tie 

I decide my votes by flipping a coin into the sky 

If you give me enough money I’ll push through your desires 

When things get hairy I’ll put my files into fires 
You don’t like me? I guess you could vote for my opponent 

But they are just someone else’s money well spent 

You don’t really have a choice, it’s either a punch to the gut or kick to the knee 

So don’t vote for that terrorist baby hater and vote for me 

No Trademark Infringed 

Sitting all alone with just my thoughts to keep me company 
When suddenly there’s a tapping at my bedroom window 

To my surprise a snowy owl is present with a letter addressed to me

It’s a correspondence from someone that has been hidden in the shadow 
A few days pass and then there’s a knock upon my front door 

Standing on my doorstep is a canister shaped droid 

He plays a holographic message of my friend stating my life is a bore 

He challenges me to a duel with a special light sword 
So I pack my things and go on a journey down a yellow paved road 

I meet a man who is made of metal and has no soul 

I meet a man who sounds like a crow and has the brains of a toad 

And finally I encounter a scaredy cat on the way to my goal 
Once I reach my destination at Mt. Mist, I encounter a dragon 

He sits upon a throne of gold and will scorch anyone 

I acquire some help from a group of short people with a wagon 

We slay the dragon and all I get is a small dragon bone 
My friend begins a slow clap from a top the mountain 

He jumps down to face me and we begin to fight 

We end up tired and just laughing at the situation 

I stand and shoot him in the head because I always win at the end of the night