Whenever there is evil around
Whenever crime is going down
You will have no fear
Because Kroger Kids are here
This crime fighting couple will save you
Whether you’re fighting a lion at the zoo
Or aliens are invading your local Walmart
There is one simple thing you must start
Pull out your Kroger Kids kazoo
And play their song, “do do dooo doo do”
They fly around in a super grocery buggy
It has big foot tires, bazookas and can fly
Magnificent Mark is a country cowboy
His hat is razor sharp and isn’t a toy
And if that doesn’t work he is super strong
He can also stretch his body super long
Charismatic Carrie is the beautiful one
Her laser vision will melt you to the bone
Did I mention she can blow a kiss
That will paralyze you and it never misses
Together they fight crime
So if you’re evil you’re out of time
If you’re in need than don’t worry
Bc Kroger Kids are the hero in your story
Anger, Angst, and Anything America Allows 