Marsupial Melee

It was a cold Sunday morning, I had entered the ancient ruins

As I began to search for the lost treasure of the America Huns

I was attacked by a giant Opossum with a scar across his right eye

He knocked me down and rushed over to make sure that I die

I kicked him in the gut as I drew my pistol. Bang! Bang! Bang!

I fired three times and all three bounced off like they were the rain

The Opossum just smiled as he approached me

I was down but not out, I drove both of me feet into his knee

He buckled and I scrambled back to a vertical base

I saw a sword behind the Opossum so I rushed him firing at his face

The distraction was enough to get behind him and grab a blade

He swung his tail and I did my best to evade

But on the second swing he knocked me down

I lied there pretending to be dead on the ancient ground

When he stood over me to admire his success

I shoved the sword straight through his throat and pressed

That day I stayed the monster and found my treasure

And as a reminder I took a piece of him to use at my leisure

Some have a bear skin rug on their living room floor

I have a monstrous marsupial rug that won’t terrorize anyone any more

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We Are Just Opossums in the Shed

One Sunday morning I was going through my parent’s shed

When I was startled by an aging opossum head

I reached for my pistol with intentions to make him dead

But I stopped, there was no reason see if his blood was red

He was just trying to get away from the freezing cold

I chased him out and covered the holes like I was told

Not wanting to clean up the mess was the lie that I sold

But truthfully I connected to this opossum that lived to be this old

He was doing what was necessary to survive

He had no evil intentions, just wanted to be alive

He had the ability to surprise attack me but took a dive

He lived to fight another day instead of testing my drive

we are all just trying to keep our head above water

We are doing our best to protect what truly matters

We may be able to break the glass but why test if it will shatter

Make wise decisions and keep your brains from being floor splatter

Just a Monkey on a Rocket Ship to the Moon

Let me tell you about Apollo the chimp

in laymans terms he’s a freaking pimp

he always wears a cowboy hat

and carries a baseball bat

He can be a ninja and vanish without a trace

or be a gansta in your face

he’s completely insane

and can punch you in the brain

so one day this brain punching, kiss stealing,

wheeling, dealing

monkey was smearing poop on his face

and he decided he was going into outer space

so he built a rocket ship

fastened his bat to his hip

and blasted out of the jungle

it was almost too much for him to handle

and no one has seen him since, some say he died

some say he flew into the sun and fried

I say Witch please

he’s on the moon eating moon cheese

The Ones that Follow

“HELP” a dozen people scream

I run towards them, wishing this was a dream

On the ground is a man who is not breathing

Without hesitant I kneel over his chest and start compressing

I yell for someone to call for an ambulance

It seems I am this only man’s chance

I’m still compressing trying to save this stranger

I yell for an AED, I’m focused on my task ignoring all other danger

I’m center stage of a group of onlookers

They all stand and just watch, there are no help offers

Another officer shows up with the AED, I hook it to his chest

I’m tiring but I’m still doing my very best

The AED delivers a shock and the man begins breathing

He weakly grabs my hand, as to say thanks for trying

He quits breathing again and I go back to compressing

The AED delivers another shock as I kneel there sweating

No effect! Damnit! I go back to compressions

Finally paramedics show up and I don’t like their expressions

One kneels down and stops me, they declare him dead

I go numb and don’t hear another word that is said

Phones calls are made and hours tick by

We sit patiently to be interviewed by the GBI

I sit there my body starving for sleep

And wait my turn to be pulled away like a butcher picking a sheep

I tell my story and I am sent away

No matter what happens I will never forget this day

The people that you save fade away into the shadows

The ones you don’t will always be there, will always follow

Christmas Time Imagination

On a cold Christmas Eve I was asleep in my bed

With visions of gumdrops dancing in my head

When I heard a loud whistle and my home began to shake

I went outside to see the Polar Express, for so long I thought it was fake

All aboard the conductor shouted, so I jumped up and went inside

In the first train car was Frosty the snowman doing the electric slide

He gave me a nod and a wink as I walked by

Then Jack Skellington threw a snowball that hit me in the eye

I laughed and a snowball fight ensued, me and Frosty on one team

Jack and Sally on the other, the fight ended when Sally busted a seam

I heard some thudding on the roof so I went to take a look

Sneaking from car to car was the Grinch and Captain Hook

I climbed on the roof and found a sword, hook was no match for me

Especially when John McClane jumped down from a passing tree

We locked the Grinch and Hook in a car and went to speak to the conductor

the train came to an abrupt stop and I saw a sleigh being pulled by reindeer

Santa had arrived and landed as we exited the train

He bellowed a “Ho, ho, ho” as presents began to rain

I picked up the one addressed to me and as I tore it open with my hands

My letter to Santa had paid off because inside was a nimbus 2000

Santa nodded and I flew off to my next big adventure

You may question if the events of this story actually occurred

To that I ask if you’re writing a book or reporting the news

If you are title it mind your own business you Scrooge

Producing A Profoundly Popular Poem

Start with a strong, good looking lead character

Have them experience some hardship or disaster

Against all odds let the lead overcome and be stronger

If storytelling isn’t your bag, write about a deep unwavering love

Flatter, express, and paint your desire as someone from above

Describe your being together as a finely tailored glove

Or maybe you prefer something abstract and expressive

Yellow flowers on a black blanket staring at a man in the sky

Bleep bloop bam goes the wild man

Whatever you like or whatever style you prefer

If you don’t write it you’ll never know and I mean never

Most importantly if you enjoy or it’s therapeutic that’s all that matters

Queen Elizabeth II The Robotic Superhero

Let me regale you with a wondrous tale of heroism 

QE was a young woman who saw her country dying from Nazism 

She snuck out of the Royal Palace and joined her countrymen 

With a Thompson machine gun in each hand she helped the allies win
If you wonder what happened to Hitler and his mysterious death

He’s fatal mistake was challenging QE, she took his last breath 

But her battle with Hitler left her severely injured 

However with help from scientists she was reengineered 
Once she became Queen she did not stop her heroic acts 

She took down the Berlin Wall in just two whacks 

She saved the Earth from total destruction from meteoroids 

She flew to space and with a cricket bat knocked them back into the void
Rogue aliens once invaded Britain and tried to take over 

But QE sent them packing with one perfectly placed shoulder 

Seal Team 6 gets credit for killing bin laden 

But no one realizes QE had already put a bullet in his noggin 
QE doesn’t save the world for fame or money

She does because the world needs her to ensure its safety 

So the next time you see her in her little coat in hat

Just know you owe her a million thanks and that’s a fact