Shaken Not Stirred

America has been infiltrated by the reds

They eat Cubans on rye bread

They turn up their nose to Mac n cheese

They never say thank you or please

These bolsheviks want to ruin our country

They put vodka into their chai tea

They drive slow on the expressway

They are the black cloud to your sunny day

But have no fear there are true capitalists

Americans ready to fight the communists

They eat bacon, drive fast, and eat apple pie

God Bless America always brings a tear to their eye

This group has learned how to identify a spy

They shake them three times and the red can’t lie

They are compelled to admit their true loyalty

A shaken marxist will recite the communist manifesto flawlessly

So if you love America and want to assist

Grab your gun, eat some bacon and shake a communist

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The Rowdy Redneck

I’ve had numerous experiences in my life

I’ve been hit by a car, stabbed with a knife

Waffle House threw me out into the street

I don’t care for shoes on my feet

I grew up on spam and fried bologna

Riding in truck beds is a limo ride to me

I love shooting guns and wrestling on tv

Summertime is best spent in the shade of a tree

I can cuss like a drunken sailor

But I always mind my manners around the pastor

I like driving fast and loud music on my radio

I love Playing horseshoes while Dad grills on the patio

I use slang and speak with a southern accent

To me Redneck is a term of endearment

Im blue collar, eat red meat, and love The USA

I love to fight, party all night, and I’m always going to be that way

The Light of My Life

There is an evil attached to me like shadow

Some days my shadow is wide, some days it’s narrow

But no matter my struggle I always have a partner

I have a shining light that leads my way, that makes my day brighter

This light is my loving wife, my rock, my everything

She is a beautiful angel that supports my choices and the flaws I bring

She is the queen of my kingdom, she fights my wars

She celebrates my victories, she knows my horrors

She is the piece that I never knew was missing

she’s everything and more than I was I wishing

So bring on the dragons, the demons, or the monsters,

With my soulmate by my side we will conquer them together