Esteban the Guardian

There’s a special street in Hell that is littered with Rose petals

But under the petals are thorns of rusty metal 

On this street are many hills and condemned homes

Some are filled with lost souls, others house demon gnomes 
But there’s one house that remains an utter mystery 

Because no one has been inside in over a century 

Outside this home stands a never sleeping guardian 

His name is Estaban, he’s one the angels that fell from Heaven
He was assigned to guard that house by Lucifer 

he has stood vigilant and hasn’t allowed anyone to enter 

The sidewalks are littered with bones of those who tried to pass 

A strike from his sword will break you like cheap glass
There are many stories about what he guards 

But no one dares to challenge Esteban or even play him in cards

He just continues to stand and fight to protect the house 

He even keeps out the hellion version of a mouse 

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I’m Not Your Hero

I’m not the hero that you think I am 
The persona I’m using is just a sham 

I don’t regret anything from my past 

When I was raising hell I had a blast 
I may be a calmer and slower to violence that doesn’t mean i like peace and silence 

I may even extend a helping hand 

But I will probably have an ulterior plan 
I may not smash buildings like King Kong

But the city is not where I belong

I’ve had fun leaving a path of destruction

If I’ve helped anyone it was with objection 
 

Sometimes the most dangerous devil 

Is the one who is quiet about his evil

I may not be out causing chaos and pain

That doesn’t mean I have a heroic vein  

The World is a Deep Dark Pit

No two individuals experience life the same way 
Some people are pampered with life handed over on a silver tray 

Most of us have some mountain or obstacle in our path 

We have at least one day where it feels like we are feeling God’s wrath 
One day you will be stuck with a never ending rain cloud 

You will have a headache and every noise will be too loud

You will have your horrible boss breathing down your neck

He will be demanding more and more, you will want to scream “go to heck!”
Some of us are not so fortunate, we get to deal with death 

not the normal death but holding your friend as they take their last breath 

Some of us have our life put in danger or receive a terrible wound

Some have the unfortunate experience of putting another in a tomb 
Everyone has to find their own way of dealing with stress 

They have to find to a way to put their demons to rest 

Some lose themselves in books traveling to lands of make believe 

Some eat, some exercise, some drink and some meditate to take their reprieve 
Whatever you do know that you are not alone in this fight 

Everyone has to deal with devil when they walk at night

Everyone needs a helping hand every now and then 

And asking for help is normal and not some blasphemous sin 

Wonderful Chaos 

I am a monster evil and vile 
I am unpredictable and wild

I eat souls for dinner 

If you challenge me I will be the winner
The devil has nightmares about me

When I walk by he takes a knee

The boogeyman checks his closet at night

To check I’m not there to give him a fright 
Clowns and spiders have Markphobia 

Just my name gives them terror 

Sasquatch owes me money 

That’s why he’s hiding from me 
Chuck Norris once gave me a punch 

the next 8 weeks he has to drink his lunch 

There was once life on Mars 

Until they kicked me out of their bars 
These feats may sound like tall tales

If you have doubts step up and you will fail 

Because I am the evil greatness 

Fight me and Hell will be your address 

Follow the Brimstone Brick Road

Nigel was a normal guy who lived in the Appalachian foothills
He had few hobbies but would do things just for thrills 

Nigel would ride motorcycles and shoot guns 

He was charismatic, so much that he got winks from nuns 
One day Nigel went to the top of a tall mountain 

Revved his motorcycle and took a huge leap into the rain 

Nigel fell fast and he soon realized his huge mistake 

He was free falling and it did not matter how hard he smashed the brake 
Nigel just closed his eyes and prayed for the best 

All of the sudden Nigel felt the ground underneath his chest 

He looked to his left and his motorcycle laid on top of a man

He been crushed but untouched were his bright red Vans
Nigel was in a foreign land, with no shoes and no ride

So he took the red Vans and looked for a place to hide  

But he was confronted by the Demon of the West 

He had red skin, rode a Pegasus, wore a cowboy hat and leather vest 
West was flying straight for Nigel with a rifle ready to fire 

But Gabriel the angel derailed him with a tire 

Gabriel said go away this man has the Vans and is protected 

West cussed and flew away leaving Nigel horrible perplexed 
Nigel thanked Gabriel but said I just want to go back to Georgia 

Gabriel said follow the brimstone brick road and see the King with the fedora

Nigel went on his way confused but had no other plan 

He walked for a few until he saw something that looked like a man
However when he got close it was obvious this was no person

It was a robot that had a sign stating not to turn on 

Nigel being the reckless lad he is flipped the switch 

He heard beeping and clanking then finally the robot twitched 
The robot grabbed Nigel by the throat and smiled 

Nigel started flailing and squirming until he finally escaped

He shouted what is wrong with you? I’m the one who saved you 

The robot just laughed and said I have no soul but what’s new
Nigel and the robot talked for a moment and came to an understanding 

They would team up and go together to see the king 

So as the walked they saw a man hanging from a tree

They stopped and looked and hangman asked are you looking at me? 
Nigel answered who else would we be looking at 

The hangman looked left then right, scratched his head and said that bat

What he pointed out wasn’t a bat but a swarm of man sized bats

They were heading straight for the trio and they meant business no questioning that
The robot shot down the hangman and they went and hid

But that seemed like the worst thing they could’ve did 

Because in the cave they went to was a large bear

But seeing the trio the bear pooped his underwear 
He asked what did they want and they told him the were going to see the king

Because it’s been told the king could grant you anything 

He asked to go and they said why not and the got back on the Brick road

The reached the concrete city and were greeted at the gate by a Toad
He shouted state your business or face your fate 

They told him and he agreed to let them in the gate 

Upon meeting the king, Nigel told him what he wanted and all of that

The king just smiled and said you must bring me back West’s hat
The king didn’t really give Nigel much of a choice 

So they went to West’s castle looking like the judges of the voice 

They snuck upstairs and found West cleaning his gun

They began to fight and just when it seemed West had won
The hangman pulled out a bottle of water and went to take a drink

Nigel saw crosses on the bottle and began to quickly think 

He snatched it from the hangman and splashed it on West 

West melted and all that was left was his pants, hat and vest 
The four took the hat back to the king and waited for him to complete their deal

He just laughed, horns began to grow and the bear squealed

The king shouted I am the devil and I do what I please 

Nigel said screw that and dropped kicked the devil in his knees 
When he did the king shrank and began to cry loudly 

Then from across the street came a concerned looking demon lady 

She picked up the now young boy and asked what happened 

Nigel told her and she just shook her head. She said I am the devil and he’s grounded
To make up for his rudeness she granted them each one wish

The robot got a soul, the bear bravery and the hangman common sense,

When it came to Nigel she looked down and said you can’t leave 

This is hell and your body is already been put in a grave 
So Nigel asked for her to fix his motorcycle and give him a gun 

Now he rides all over hell fighting demons just for fun 

The Devil Does Not Concern Himself With the Wishes of Angels

There was once a righteous pure angel
 he was as pure as freshly fallen snow

he had decided he was going to reform the devil 

why he he took on this quest I’ll never know
 he would show the devil how being good made him happy

He showed how helping others brought them joy 

The devil just dismissed this as stupid and sappy 

Saying for a minute a crying baby is happy with a toy 
The angel could not reform the maniacal Satan

So he took a different approach to rid the world of evil

He hid away and worked out the details to an ingenious plan 

He returned and made a tempting offer that was on Satan’s level
Satan had only to sit in a room in exchange for a gift 

The angel would get the gift and be in eternal bliss 

If not the devil would be free and the angel trapped and listening to Taylor swift 

Satan grinned and gladly accepted this was a bet he would not miss 
So for what seemed an eternity Lucifer was trapped

The angel was happy and had not a care in his head

Lucifer devised a plan of his own, and the door was rattled 

The angel stopped and told Lucifer to stop or he’d end up dead
The devil knew the door would hurt him if he tried to escape 

But he wasn’t planning to escape by force, he just started whispering 

At first the angel just ignored him and pretended to be an ape

However the devil would not be ignored and the angel started listening 
The devil said the gift wasn’t good enough and was trash 

The angel laughed this off and went back to playing and smiling

While the angel was down the hill he heard a large crash

He cautiously went back to check and he saw a monster smashing 
Lucifer had summoned the monster but it could not break him free 

The angel just laughed and went back on his merry way 

Then one day the gift was gone from every where the angel could see

And this was Lucifer’s most evil conniving day 
The next day the gift returned but the angel had been burned 

The devil was whispering again and this time it filled the air

The whispering was like poison and made the angel stomach turn 

The angel soon began questioning everything from his feet to his hair
*poof* the angel saw the devil free from the room 

The devil was grinning and walking in his direction 

But the devil didn’t stop he just said better find you a broom 

He bumped the angel as he passed leaving a sting like an injection 
The angel asked why am I not trapped? That was the deal

The devil coyly stated you will but on my time Have fun waiting

That’s when terror sank in and the angel’s fear was real 

The devil disappeared and this just left the angel shaking
The moral of the story is never try to change a leopard’s spots

Never make a deal with the devil if you aren’t prepared to lose 

Because the devil will never change and likes to call his own shots 

Find another way to be happy, one that you truly choose 

Unanswered Questions

Falling, falling, deeper, falling, farther, falling, faster

BAM! Rock bottom some reason I thought it would be softer 

Maybe I was naive and thought I wasn’t that low

Maybe my tough act was really just one big show 
Whatever it was I am here now no time for reflecting 

I guess the talk about bus rides to hell was just talking 

How do I know I am in hell you ask, maybe it’s the screaming 

Or the brimstone or maybe because I can see people burning 
The lake of fire is more like an ocean consuming millions

I need to think fast, come up with some solutions

Well I guess I have to figure out the problems first

Besides being in hell and having an unbearable thirst 
Maybe Satan is too busy to greet me or he doesn’t care

Maybe he’s everywhere and I’m just too blind to see his stare 

Well laying on this brimstone is doing me no favors

I’ll start looking for an exit and just pretend I didn’t have bad behaviors 
I walk about a mile before I run into anyone or anything really 

The soldier looks as confused as I am and he sure is smelly

He points a flaming sword at me and tells me to stop

He pulls out a radio talks into it and then there is a loud pop 
He wasn’t wearing a name tag but the man that magically appeared 

I had a feeling he was Lucifer the way he was feared

The soldier was on one knee bowing to the devil 

Satan just looked at me and said you don’t “belong in my pile”
“Why are you here” he demanded and waited for me to answer

Shrugging and saying “hell if I know mother fucker”

Was not the right response I learned as I went flying across the land

I’m here to tell you the devil has a wicked back hand
I had not planned on fighting the devil today 

But you know the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray 

And that old line you can’t take it with you is bullshit

Because when I landed I found that my lucky gun was still in my pocket
I pulled it out and fired three shots into Satan’s chest 

He just laughed and said, “c’mon give me your best”

So I keep on shooting until the gun runs empty 

He is smiling like a jackass walking towards me
“Are you done” he asks like a disapproving dad 

I nod yes so he lowers his guard and give him the best sucker punch I had 

He stumbles and wipes blood from his cheek 

Then delivers a round house kick that knocks me into next week 
I roll over, start coughing up blood and yell “is that all princess

Maybe when we are done you can show me your pretty dress ”

I tell you this story not because I had a glorious victory 

But because you don’t fight Satan and sit around quietly
Sorry off topic damn ADHD look a squirrel that looks like Elvis 

My shouting seems to be making the devil really pissed 

Because as he glides to me his pulling out a sword engulfed in fire 

That’s when I hear it, a 2016 white corvette squealing tires
It shoots past me and slides into Satan knocking him off his feet

I’m expecting Jesus to come out and hand Satan a righteous defeat

Boy was I wrong out steps Chuck Fucking Norris with a bad ass katana 

By this time the devil is full rage charging but Chuck is a ninja 
Chuck does some flips and then swords start clanging 

Chuck tells me to “GO” and points to the car that’s still running 

I jump in and the car transforms into beautiful Pegasus 

It wisps me away as chuck fights the devil below us
I am dropped off at home with nothing but bruised ribs and questions

Who won the fight? How did I get to hell? Is that my eternal destination?

I will probably never know any answers but it was a nice adventure

That I will tell even when I’m gray headed and have dentures