Follow the Brimstone Brick Road

Nigel was a normal guy who lived in the Appalachian foothills
He had few hobbies but would do things just for thrills 

Nigel would ride motorcycles and shoot guns 

He was charismatic, so much that he got winks from nuns 
One day Nigel went to the top of a tall mountain 

Revved his motorcycle and took a huge leap into the rain 

Nigel fell fast and he soon realized his huge mistake 

He was free falling and it did not matter how hard he smashed the brake 
Nigel just closed his eyes and prayed for the best 

All of the sudden Nigel felt the ground underneath his chest 

He looked to his left and his motorcycle laid on top of a man

He been crushed but untouched were his bright red Vans
Nigel was in a foreign land, with no shoes and no ride

So he took the red Vans and looked for a place to hide  

But he was confronted by the Demon of the West 

He had red skin, rode a Pegasus, wore a cowboy hat and leather vest 
West was flying straight for Nigel with a rifle ready to fire 

But Gabriel the angel derailed him with a tire 

Gabriel said go away this man has the Vans and is protected 

West cussed and flew away leaving Nigel horrible perplexed 
Nigel thanked Gabriel but said I just want to go back to Georgia 

Gabriel said follow the brimstone brick road and see the King with the fedora

Nigel went on his way confused but had no other plan 

He walked for a few until he saw something that looked like a man
However when he got close it was obvious this was no person

It was a robot that had a sign stating not to turn on 

Nigel being the reckless lad he is flipped the switch 

He heard beeping and clanking then finally the robot twitched 
The robot grabbed Nigel by the throat and smiled 

Nigel started flailing and squirming until he finally escaped

He shouted what is wrong with you? I’m the one who saved you 

The robot just laughed and said I have no soul but what’s new
Nigel and the robot talked for a moment and came to an understanding 

They would team up and go together to see the king 

So as the walked they saw a man hanging from a tree

They stopped and looked and hangman asked are you looking at me? 
Nigel answered who else would we be looking at 

The hangman looked left then right, scratched his head and said that bat

What he pointed out wasn’t a bat but a swarm of man sized bats

They were heading straight for the trio and they meant business no questioning that
The robot shot down the hangman and they went and hid

But that seemed like the worst thing they could’ve did 

Because in the cave they went to was a large bear

But seeing the trio the bear pooped his underwear 
He asked what did they want and they told him the were going to see the king

Because it’s been told the king could grant you anything 

He asked to go and they said why not and the got back on the Brick road

The reached the concrete city and were greeted at the gate by a Toad
He shouted state your business or face your fate 

They told him and he agreed to let them in the gate 

Upon meeting the king, Nigel told him what he wanted and all of that

The king just smiled and said you must bring me back West’s hat
The king didn’t really give Nigel much of a choice 

So they went to West’s castle looking like the judges of the voice 

They snuck upstairs and found West cleaning his gun

They began to fight and just when it seemed West had won
The hangman pulled out a bottle of water and went to take a drink

Nigel saw crosses on the bottle and began to quickly think 

He snatched it from the hangman and splashed it on West 

West melted and all that was left was his pants, hat and vest 
The four took the hat back to the king and waited for him to complete their deal

He just laughed, horns began to grow and the bear squealed

The king shouted I am the devil and I do what I please 

Nigel said screw that and dropped kicked the devil in his knees 
When he did the king shrank and began to cry loudly 

Then from across the street came a concerned looking demon lady 

She picked up the now young boy and asked what happened 

Nigel told her and she just shook her head. She said I am the devil and he’s grounded
To make up for his rudeness she granted them each one wish

The robot got a soul, the bear bravery and the hangman common sense,

When it came to Nigel she looked down and said you can’t leave 

This is hell and your body is already been put in a grave 
So Nigel asked for her to fix his motorcycle and give him a gun 

Now he rides all over hell fighting demons just for fun 

Stories are Written by the Victors 

Everyone take a hold of your seat

For I will tell a tale of a hero’s defeat

There was a wild beast that ruled with fear

And his subjects grew worse each year 
One day this beast kidnapped a villager 

And then traded him for his daughter 

The woman was a prisoner to the beast 

Most days she was even denied a feast
She was denied all human interaction 

And soon her fear turned into affection 

In the village there was our hero 

He searched for her but came up with zero
Then one day she escaped her jail

She came home and told her tale

Our hero rounded up a posse 

And went to ensure the village’s safety
The beast’s army attacked the villagers

They put them into real danger

Our hero braved through the battle 

And went to find the beast in the castle 
He found the beast and the fight began

Our hero was strong but was only a man

He fell at the hands of the monster 

And never saw again was the villager’s daughter 

The Cape-less Wonder

Unfortunately in the world we live in there are no superheroes 
No dashing man with a mask, no woman in a cape 

However we still have the criminals, the evil, the zeroes 

Some have goofy names like in the comics like Joker, el Chapo or Ape

But we cannot scream and a Superman appear to stop the bullet
So a select few have stepped up to lend a helping hand 

They run towards gunfire or a criminal with a knife 

They don’t want glory, all they want is to help their fellow man 

They want to protect the sanctity of every being’s life 

They don’t even want a thank you, they just enjoy it 
These individuals are only human though and don’t have super speed

Sometimes they are only able to arrive after the crime 

But when they do they try to take care of the victim and their needs

They try to catch the criminal in a reasonable time 

They work night and day to make the world a safer place
They do all of this without any superpowers or alien technology 

They don’t get to hide their identities or have a fortress of solitude 

They only want to be like everyone else, go to church, eat or go to college 

They don’t see themselves as better just as someone with a heroic aptitude 

I am thankful that I can say that among them I have a space 

Ninja Penguins 

Have you ever had something disappear overnight
Have you ever thought to yourself did I leave on that light

Well you’re not going crazy or being forgetful

There is a rogue group on a mission to collect material 
This group is made up of five ninja penguins 

They are masters of all traditional ninja 

weapons 

They can slice through walls with a sword, hit you with a ninja star 

Or disappear with smoke going from near to far 
But these ninja aren’t out for blood or an enemy’s heart

They are trying to rebuild their rocket ship and they need parts

So they sneak into offices and people’s bedrooms 

They take pens, socks, keys, headphones and sometimes even a broom
I don’t know if they will ever finish their spaceship 

I don’t know what planet they are from or why they eat potato chips 

I just know the next time something is missing 

You can blame the ninja penguins because they are the ones taking 

Stubbed Toe Kind of Luck

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed 

I tried to think but there was a jackhammer in my head 

I sluggishly walked to the bathroom and turned on the sink 

I was immediately covered in water and needed a stiff drink 
I picked up my worn pants from the floor and they had a tear

I put them on anyways because you can’t leave in your underwear 

Outside, my car’s front tire had a flat and I had no spare

So I took off on foot with a scowl and several swears 
On the street I stepped in chewing gum and was chased by a dog

I even managed to get lost in the thick morning fog

Halfway to my destination my phone began to ring

I cringed about the possibility of callers as Beck continued to sing
I wearily answered the phone to be asked about my location 

It was the police concerned about me and they had bad information 

A plane had crashed into the car’s driving on the road 

The plane slid into my house causing it to burn is what I was told
The moral to this disastrous tale I have outlined for you 

Is that sometimes your worst day where fate has left you black and blue 

May be the day that your life is saved from horrible doom 

So change your perspective be more positive and less gloom 

Keep It Simple

Two individuals were trapped in a deep dark cave
One was actively going insane while the other just behaved

The eccentric one was named Dusty and hated the dark

The calm one was named Flint and only feared sharks
Dusty began berating Flint for being overly calm

Flint just blew it off while drawing shapes on his palm

Dusty was trying every way possible to escape this prison

While Flint just sat quietly because he knew the dangers of their mission
Dusty finally couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Flint 

He shook Flint asking him why, yelling just give me a hint 

Flint just laughed and said you worry too much my friend

We will get out eventually, life always works out in the end
Dusty just looked perplexed and started crying 

He was trying to remain calm, he really was trying 

Flint smiled and said don’t over complicate the situation 

We are just pieces of lint in the pocket of a Haitian 

The Devil Does Not Concern Himself With the Wishes of Angels

There was once a righteous pure angel
 he was as pure as freshly fallen snow

he had decided he was going to reform the devil 

why he he took on this quest I’ll never know
 he would show the devil how being good made him happy

He showed how helping others brought them joy 

The devil just dismissed this as stupid and sappy 

Saying for a minute a crying baby is happy with a toy 
The angel could not reform the maniacal Satan

So he took a different approach to rid the world of evil

He hid away and worked out the details to an ingenious plan 

He returned and made a tempting offer that was on Satan’s level
Satan had only to sit in a room in exchange for a gift 

The angel would get the gift and be in eternal bliss 

If not the devil would be free and the angel trapped and listening to Taylor swift 

Satan grinned and gladly accepted this was a bet he would not miss 
So for what seemed an eternity Lucifer was trapped

The angel was happy and had not a care in his head

Lucifer devised a plan of his own, and the door was rattled 

The angel stopped and told Lucifer to stop or he’d end up dead
The devil knew the door would hurt him if he tried to escape 

But he wasn’t planning to escape by force, he just started whispering 

At first the angel just ignored him and pretended to be an ape

However the devil would not be ignored and the angel started listening 
The devil said the gift wasn’t good enough and was trash 

The angel laughed this off and went back to playing and smiling

While the angel was down the hill he heard a large crash

He cautiously went back to check and he saw a monster smashing 
Lucifer had summoned the monster but it could not break him free 

The angel just laughed and went back on his merry way 

Then one day the gift was gone from every where the angel could see

And this was Lucifer’s most evil conniving day 
The next day the gift returned but the angel had been burned 

The devil was whispering again and this time it filled the air

The whispering was like poison and made the angel stomach turn 

The angel soon began questioning everything from his feet to his hair
*poof* the angel saw the devil free from the room 

The devil was grinning and walking in his direction 

But the devil didn’t stop he just said better find you a broom 

He bumped the angel as he passed leaving a sting like an injection 
The angel asked why am I not trapped? That was the deal

The devil coyly stated you will but on my time Have fun waiting

That’s when terror sank in and the angel’s fear was real 

The devil disappeared and this just left the angel shaking
The moral of the story is never try to change a leopard’s spots

Never make a deal with the devil if you aren’t prepared to lose 

Because the devil will never change and likes to call his own shots 

Find another way to be happy, one that you truly choose