Unanswered Questions

Falling, falling, deeper, falling, farther, falling, faster

BAM! Rock bottom some reason I thought it would be softer 

Maybe I was naive and thought I wasn’t that low

Maybe my tough act was really just one big show 
Whatever it was I am here now no time for reflecting 

I guess the talk about bus rides to hell was just talking 

How do I know I am in hell you ask, maybe it’s the screaming 

Or the brimstone or maybe because I can see people burning 
The lake of fire is more like an ocean consuming millions

I need to think fast, come up with some solutions

Well I guess I have to figure out the problems first

Besides being in hell and having an unbearable thirst 
Maybe Satan is too busy to greet me or he doesn’t care

Maybe he’s everywhere and I’m just too blind to see his stare 

Well laying on this brimstone is doing me no favors

I’ll start looking for an exit and just pretend I didn’t have bad behaviors 
I walk about a mile before I run into anyone or anything really 

The soldier looks as confused as I am and he sure is smelly

He points a flaming sword at me and tells me to stop

He pulls out a radio talks into it and then there is a loud pop 
He wasn’t wearing a name tag but the man that magically appeared 

I had a feeling he was Lucifer the way he was feared

The soldier was on one knee bowing to the devil 

Satan just looked at me and said you don’t “belong in my pile”
“Why are you here” he demanded and waited for me to answer

Shrugging and saying “hell if I know mother fucker”

Was not the right response I learned as I went flying across the land

I’m here to tell you the devil has a wicked back hand
I had not planned on fighting the devil today 

But you know the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray 

And that old line you can’t take it with you is bullshit

Because when I landed I found that my lucky gun was still in my pocket
I pulled it out and fired three shots into Satan’s chest 

He just laughed and said, “c’mon give me your best”

So I keep on shooting until the gun runs empty 

He is smiling like a jackass walking towards me
“Are you done” he asks like a disapproving dad 

I nod yes so he lowers his guard and give him the best sucker punch I had 

He stumbles and wipes blood from his cheek 

Then delivers a round house kick that knocks me into next week 
I roll over, start coughing up blood and yell “is that all princess

Maybe when we are done you can show me your pretty dress ”

I tell you this story not because I had a glorious victory 

But because you don’t fight Satan and sit around quietly
Sorry off topic damn ADHD look a squirrel that looks like Elvis 

My shouting seems to be making the devil really pissed 

Because as he glides to me his pulling out a sword engulfed in fire 

That’s when I hear it, a 2016 white corvette squealing tires
It shoots past me and slides into Satan knocking him off his feet

I’m expecting Jesus to come out and hand Satan a righteous defeat

Boy was I wrong out steps Chuck Fucking Norris with a bad ass katana 

By this time the devil is full rage charging but Chuck is a ninja 
Chuck does some flips and then swords start clanging 

Chuck tells me to “GO” and points to the car that’s still running 

I jump in and the car transforms into beautiful Pegasus 

It wisps me away as chuck fights the devil below us
I am dropped off at home with nothing but bruised ribs and questions

Who won the fight? How did I get to hell? Is that my eternal destination?

I will probably never know any answers but it was a nice adventure

That I will tell even when I’m gray headed and have dentures 


El Texano 

There was a cowboy with a lightning quick draw 

Who scared every living creature that he saw 

No one could beat him in a pistol duel 

He knew this fact and it made him cruel
The cowboy wore a hat as black as his soul

And a black duster that shielded him from the cold 

His spurs seemed to have a sinister sound 

They hissed like snakes when his boots hit the ground
The cowboy spread fear from Georgia to Mexico 

But one day he came to small village that housed El Texano

Texano was tall, burly and burnt by the harsh sun

He worked every day and seemed to have no time for fun
The village didn’t know much about Texano 

They knew he didn’t drink and he wore a sombrero

He could break in any horse and mend any fence

And if spoke at all it was a very short sentence
As Texano was mending a fence the Cowboy came to town 

He yelled “out of the way amigo” and pushed the fence down 

Texano turned beet red and faced the Cowboy

The Cowboy just grinned and seemed overjoyed 
The Cowboy went down for the gun at his waist

Texano responded with a fence post to Cowboy’s face 

When Cowboy awoke he was tied to a chair 

With blood and dirt clumping up his jet black hair 
Texano finally spoke ending the silence in the room 

“How many hombres have felt your gun’s evil boom?”

Cowboy uttered, “go to hell you dirty Mexican”

Texano shook his head in disbelief of this stupid man
Texano said, “I’m not Mexican but that doesn’t matter 

You’re an evil man who’s blood I will splatter

You will not hurt anyone else especially in my town.”

Then he took a machete and buried it in the Cowboy’s crown
The next day they coyotes had a bountiful feast

And no one knew Texano was the hero that slain the beast 

Texano was ok with this fact and went back to work 

And the world was a better place because it had one less jerk 

The Roller Coaster of Life 

Maybe I’m not actually evil 

Maybe I’m not the devil 

Maybe I’m exactly the way God wants me

Maybe I’m the Angel of Misery 
I’m like cocaine for your soul 

I can take you down the deepest hole

I can take you to the mountain top 

You better hold on because I don’t stop 
I will expand the thoughts in your brain

I will put you in the car and drive you insane 

I will make you too angry for words

I will make you fly higher than the birds 
I will open up doors of opportunity 

I will push you into a world of self pity

I am an agent of curiosity 

I am the Angel of Misery 
So take my hand if you dare

you will definitely have a horrible scare 

You will have numerous nights of laughs 

Just hope when it’s over you’re meeting one of God’s staff 

El Magnifico 

El magnifico was a luchador past his prime 

He was the greatest wrestler of his time

But an injury had ended his lustrous career

And he no longer gets to enjoy the crowds cheer 
But from time to time like every old warrior

He puts on his mask and walks down the market corridor

Old fans wave and ask for his autograph

Some ask about old matches and enjoy a laugh 
Then one day someone with too much to prove

Pushed el magnifico and told him to move

When magnifico turned to face this guy

The guy spit in el magnifico’s eye 
El magnifico’s blood began to boil 

And his feet dug into the soil 

He issued the guy a challenge to a match

But there was only one simple catch 
This match would be a street fight

The guy accepted and hit el magnifico with a flash light

E magnifico stumbled then delivered a drop kick

Hitting the guy so hard he became sick 
El magnifico then picked the guy high in the air

And power bombed him through a chair

The guy laid crying in the middle of the street 

At the hands of el magnifico he had suffered defeat
And once again el magnifico had his glory

He had wrote a new chapter in his story

He had a new purpose for his mask

He could stop criminals committing evils task 

The Devil 

Who knew the gates to hell were located in Georgia

In the middle of a growing town known to the locals as Atlanta

The devil had drifted in after a long stay in an unfavorable place

But if he had been here before no one recognized his face
Maybe it was because Sherman had tried to burn down the city

The devil thought How did Lincoln get an angel to fight in his army 

No matter, that was over and the devil had to form a new plan 

Slavery was supposed to be the greatest evil to infect man 
But the devil was thwarted by God’s finest Angel “The Great Mark”

The defender of the light against evils plight to make the world dark 

The devil almost vomits thinking about this dope

How can one angel possibly give humans so much hope 
At last the Devil was at the gates of hell ready to unleash an attack

He would take the souls of humans and control of earth back

The Devil had found out how to open the door

When suddenly there was the sound of feet hitting the floor
“Son of a Bitch” grunted the devil “what are you doing here?”

“Stopping you” grinned The Great Mark as he drew a sword showing no fear

The devil drew a sword of his own and it covered itself in flames

As he ran the devil shouted “I’m done with your games!”
Flaming swords crashed in the middle of the street 

Then the devil was yanked off his evil hoof feet 

He stared up as 5 more angels stood over his head

Move an inch and you’ll wish that you could wind up dead
The 5 angels picked up the devil and took off in the sky 

The Great Mark stood there with a touch of anger in his eye 

This wasn’t the first time these two had fought 

This won’t be the last time either but that’s all the story your money has bought 

The Drifter 

Lighting flashed across the sky as if fighting a rain cloud

Thunder roared over the noise of the saloon seeming unnaturally loud 

A man playing cards jumped to his feet and shot another player 

Grabbing the money in the middle claiming the other was a cheater
The gunman ran into the street while the others gave pursuit 

The gunman didn’t get to far as he ran into a drifter in a odd suit 

The drifter smelled of smoke and had an eerily evil smile 

The drifter asked the gunman why don’t you stay for a while 
The group stood awestruck but the drifter walked through the men 

He walked into the saloon and yelled to the barkeep for a shot of gin 

Several gunshots rang from outside as the group had killed the gunman 

This was the first time the drifter was seen in Lakeland 
The next morning the drifter went to the general store to buy a new shirt

When a wild cowboy came in yelling for everyone to hit the dirt 

The drifter just smiled as the cowboy grabbed the cash 

Then shot the storekeeper before he made his crazed dash 
The day after that the drifter met a beautiful lady

He chatted her up as they stood in the dusty alley 

A few hours had passed and they found their way to a comfy room 

The innkeeper hated to noise so much he hit the ceiling with his broom 
The fourth day was Sunday and as everyone knows

Sunday is the day of the lord, there is no work, drinking or shows 

This Sunday the preacher called for the drifter the be hanged 

For it was his wife that this horrible drifter had banged
He claimed the drifter to be an agent of the devil 

That he had brought with him a plague of of evil 

The drifter must be stopped before anyone else died 

The menfolk agreed while the women and children cried
But I know to them the drifter had been diligent working 

He had been collecting twigs and brush for kindling

And as the preacher delivered his powerful sermon 

The drifter had started a fire and chained the door to eliminate the vermin 

Don’t Open The Cage

The prisoner sits in the corner mumbling to no one it seems
He gets up and attacks the cell at its seams 

Then goes back to sitting in his scribbled covered corner 

But what is the cause of the madness that plagues this prisoner 
Is he here because he was sick in the brain or did it drive him insane 

Is he the conductor or a passenger of this mental train 

The guard usually ignores the prisoner’s words and antics

But something the guard saw today caused him to panic 
The prisoner lay on the floor dead not moving an inch 

The guard rushed in shouting and gave the prisoner a pinch 

The guard then turned pale white and began to perspire

Because the prisoner was grinning and the cell was catching fire  
The guard froze his brain struggling to decide which problem to solve

The cell was burning and the prisoner was rushing the door with resolve 

The prisoner had escaped and the guard was left to battle the flames 

Was the prisoner crazy or just playing advanced mind games
No one has seen the prisoner since that dreadful night 

No one knows the direction or the purpose of his flight 

Only one thing is certain about the prisoner 

He is free and the world is now in severe horrible danger