Unanswered Questions

Falling, falling, deeper, falling, farther, falling, faster

BAM! Rock bottom some reason I thought it would be softer 

Maybe I was naive and thought I wasn’t that low

Maybe my tough act was really just one big show 
Whatever it was I am here now no time for reflecting 

I guess the talk about bus rides to hell was just talking 

How do I know I am in hell you ask, maybe it’s the screaming 

Or the brimstone or maybe because I can see people burning 
The lake of fire is more like an ocean consuming millions

I need to think fast, come up with some solutions

Well I guess I have to figure out the problems first

Besides being in hell and having an unbearable thirst 
Maybe Satan is too busy to greet me or he doesn’t care

Maybe he’s everywhere and I’m just too blind to see his stare 

Well laying on this brimstone is doing me no favors

I’ll start looking for an exit and just pretend I didn’t have bad behaviors 
I walk about a mile before I run into anyone or anything really 

The soldier looks as confused as I am and he sure is smelly

He points a flaming sword at me and tells me to stop

He pulls out a radio talks into it and then there is a loud pop 
He wasn’t wearing a name tag but the man that magically appeared 

I had a feeling he was Lucifer the way he was feared

The soldier was on one knee bowing to the devil 

Satan just looked at me and said you don’t “belong in my pile”
“Why are you here” he demanded and waited for me to answer

Shrugging and saying “hell if I know mother fucker”

Was not the right response I learned as I went flying across the land

I’m here to tell you the devil has a wicked back hand
I had not planned on fighting the devil today 

But you know the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray 

And that old line you can’t take it with you is bullshit

Because when I landed I found that my lucky gun was still in my pocket
I pulled it out and fired three shots into Satan’s chest 

He just laughed and said, “c’mon give me your best”

So I keep on shooting until the gun runs empty 

He is smiling like a jackass walking towards me
“Are you done” he asks like a disapproving dad 

I nod yes so he lowers his guard and give him the best sucker punch I had 

He stumbles and wipes blood from his cheek 

Then delivers a round house kick that knocks me into next week 
I roll over, start coughing up blood and yell “is that all princess

Maybe when we are done you can show me your pretty dress ”

I tell you this story not because I had a glorious victory 

But because you don’t fight Satan and sit around quietly
Sorry off topic damn ADHD look a squirrel that looks like Elvis 

My shouting seems to be making the devil really pissed 

Because as he glides to me his pulling out a sword engulfed in fire 

That’s when I hear it, a 2016 white corvette squealing tires
It shoots past me and slides into Satan knocking him off his feet

I’m expecting Jesus to come out and hand Satan a righteous defeat

Boy was I wrong out steps Chuck Fucking Norris with a bad ass katana 

By this time the devil is full rage charging but Chuck is a ninja 
Chuck does some flips and then swords start clanging 

Chuck tells me to “GO” and points to the car that’s still running 

I jump in and the car transforms into beautiful Pegasus 

It wisps me away as chuck fights the devil below us
I am dropped off at home with nothing but bruised ribs and questions

Who won the fight? How did I get to hell? Is that my eternal destination?

I will probably never know any answers but it was a nice adventure

That I will tell even when I’m gray headed and have dentures 

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